


Possible Outcomes

by kiddywonkus



Series: Limited Queries [2]
Category: Stargate Universe
Genre: M/M, it's like watching robots understand what feelings are, the most rational start to a romance ever created
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-06-04 05:30:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6643240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiddywonkus/pseuds/kiddywonkus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rush has a proposal for Brody.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Possible Outcomes

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't even know I shipped this until I wrote one fic through the eyes of Brody, and now it just feels inevitable.
> 
> Fic placed somewhere after Common Descendants.

There is one question that propels Rush’s mind into the complicated realm of quantum physics, Ancient coding, and theoretical mathematics, and it is always “what if”. He is obsessed it. What if this theory was wrong? What if that string of code affected an outside system? What if Destiny had a mission beyond this realm of percpetion? But in the case of the Kino footage of the Destiny’s descendants, it’s a “what if” that has been answered. There is no need to dwell on it.

Except Futura nags at Rush, working away at the edge of his consciousness with “what ifs” that aren’t important to the mission, and therefore should not be important to Rush. But it won’t stop, so he lies there in bed, waiting to drift off into sleep not asking himself his usual “What if we bypassed the power converters in section 3?” but “What if I could have saved them?”

He quickly dismisses the idea, as he had many times that night. That isn’t a “what if” that is important. It is impossible. Their counterparts went back in time hundreds of years ago. Rush went back 12 hours. Or rather, other Rush did. The past is the past. What is done is done. What if he could have saved them is a "what if" couched in an immutable antecedent, and Rush hates those.

Those "what ifs" are filled with Gloria, and he cannot stomach the question, “What if I was there for her instead of escaping to the Stargate?”

Rush groans as he gets up, rubs his tired eyes with his hands, and goes to find the kino footage left behind by their descendants in hopes to take his mind off of it.

He queues it up in the interface room, but quickly starts skipping through large sections. He isn’t interested in Eli’s school, or Wray’s constitution. He’s certainly not interested in Young’s children, though his heart does ache when he sees the extent TJ's disease. Losing their chief medical officer, and one of their best supporters of morale is a “what if” Rush wishes he didn't have to consider.

Instead, he tries to focus on the question of saving her, because it’s a “what if” he can do something about. Maybe they answer isn’t explicitly in the records they salvaged, but it could be referenced by other data. Maybe they can piece together a treatment from footnotes. Maybe there is another group of descendants who figured out how to escape to the gates across the expanse between galaxies with the information they need.

Having a semblance a plan for that satisfies him. He can change his premises and his questions as he goes through the maybes, and at least know he's working logically to a conclusion. All he has to do is code a program that searches for references to symptoms of Lou Gerig’s and let it run. Then the question of “What if they lose TJ?” will be put away from his mind. For a time, at least.

But “What if I could have saved them?” brushes the front of his mind again, and he huffs indignantly at it as he fast forwards through something that looks a bit like a barn-raising. There is no “what if” there for him to work out, yet it keeps coming back.

He pulls up Brody’s kino footage, a sick feeling in his stomach because the idea about a Rush-cult stemming from his right-hand man makes him ask a question he is never prepared to deal with:

What if there is something more there?

In the footage, Brody is increasingly grumpy. Bitter even. And Rush tries to find disdain for the man who got exactly what he deserved. After all, Brody had chosen to go to the Earth before the forced evacuation. This alternate Brody was in this mess precisely because he didn’t do the one thing he always did for Rush: back him up.

Rush lets the familiar feeling of anger and betrayal fit him like armor. It protects him from other thoughts, and “what ifs” as he watches Brody talk about time travel, the follies of Young’s needing to dig in, and their need to get back to the Destiny.

And then the armor is gone. With one mention of Destiny escaping Brody’s lips, Rush sees that he is exactly the man Rush thinks he is; that Brody also believes in the mission.

Rush mind works on other question, which thankfully is not a “what if”. It's a  “why”?.

Something made Brody choose Earth over Destiny in the heat of the moment; something he clearly regretted.

Perhaps it was Rush hiding his discovery of the bridge. Keeping Brody out of the loop because he didn't trust him was not something Rush was thinking. Besides, Brody always seemed to know exactly what he was doing, and trusted him to do it. Rush half-suspected Brody was aware of Rush’s clandestine trips to the bridge, and chose not to say anything. After all, he knew about Rush’s plan to oust Telford off the ship, Rush’s limiting of the shields after Riley injury, and Rush’s coup without barely being told a word about any of them. The man even noticed Rush’s ring was gone after his time with the Nakai.

Perhaps he just assumed Brody would know about the bridge even if Rush hid it.

Rush sighs, and queues up the next set of Brody footage. In it, he’s talking about leaving to create what they would later call Futura. His reasoning is rational, long-winded, and sounds exactly like Rush would expect from someone who chafes under people like Young; men without vision beyond survival. Destiny, and her mission, colors his words even if he doesn't say it out right. Brody wanted to get back to her, and it punctuates every sentence in subtle ways. For Brody, Futura was his answer. If Rush didn't come in his lifetime, he'd come in their descendants, and the mission could continue.

Rush thinks about the bridge again, but is not convinced it was what what drove Brody to Novus in the first place.

Rush thinks about what he knows of the man. Quiet, competent. Loved, and underestimated. Frankly, he has all the traits Rush desires in an companion. And he rather thinks Brody likes working with him as well. He had watched Rush falsify information about an Icarus-type planet, and even lied for him without being ask. He had never held a grudge over Rush’s dissemination before. No. Lying about the bridge did not turn Brody into a defeatest. It did not land him on Novus.

Again, the question comes back. What if Rush saved them?

Rush finally lets himself think about it, and realization that it would have changed nothing gives him precisely the sick feeling he is trying to avoid. If Rush had stopped it, Young would have claimed that Rush had messed up the wormhole on purpose to keep them on the ship in order to fulfill Destiny’s mission. Eli would figure out that Rush was right, but it wouldn’t matter, because there are not one stone or timber that rebuild that bridge that lies burned between Rush and the colonel. Everyone would suspect that Rush kept them on the ship, instead of letting them go home. Things would have been worse.

But Brody… Brody would have figured it out. Brody would have understood, like he always did. He would have kept his head down, and got the engines online, and access the parts of the Ancient database they still couldn't crack. Why? Because Brody believed in the mission. Bordy believed in Rush.

Rush comes back to the other "what if" he had been avoiding. What if there is something more there?

Rush’s mind starts working through the options for Brody’s irrational departure. If not the bridge, then what else had happened? What if there was something more than Brody respecting him? What if it is some kind of love? What would upset that?

Ultimately, Rush's mind rests on Mandy.

Rush sighs again, letting his mind work through the unseen repercussions of that disastrous relationship. On the Kino, Brody is much older, though he aged relatively well for someone stuck living a homestead kind of life. His talk is more focused on the next generation, preparing them for Rush so they can ultimately be saved when the Destiny comes by again. He presents his calculations, and surmises that they are at least a hundred years in the past, but admits that it has a large margin for error.

Then he makes an offhand comment about how Eli thinks they are in the future, and grumbles about how the last argument about it between the two had not ended well.

As calculated and methodical as Brody is, Rush can tell that he’s trying to make the premise fit. All of it hangs on assumptions from what happened in the wormhole, and he has no data to back it up. Rush can see the false comfort he's giving himself by hiding his faulty premises in the guise of facts. Even relate to it.  Rush knows better than anyone that rational people act irrationally, especially when it comes to abandonment and loneliness.

And dare Rush say it, even when it comes to love.

Maybe what Rush felt for Mandy wasn’t love, but it could have been. He can hardly blame her for doing what she did. People do crazy things when they are lonely. They chase down people on a desert planet for revenge knowing they will die. They create subroutines to trap lovers in artificial memories. And… apparently, they go to Earth when they realize they are victim to a one-sided love affair.

Rush can’t deny any empathy for Brody. Destiny may be his… well… destiny, but no man is an island, least of all, Rush. Hadn't he skipped his work on the mainframe just to spend one day with someone who liked him? There is no denying that Rush's loneliness will consume him before Destiny's mission will.

So Rush considers a “what if” he would never had thought of before now. What if he and Brody became something more?

 

* * *

 

Rush finds Brody behind his bar, fiddling with the stills. It is mid shift in the middle of the night, so the stools are empty, and the only sound is Brody’s breathing, and the clink of metal on metal. Rush is more than a little pleased to find Brody being productive with his time, even outside the bridge, but he he’s still a little confused about where to categorize that feeling. He had spent the last four hours going over possible outcomes, and he lets their logic squash any of his doubts.

“You and I need to talk.” Rush picks up a glass, fills it with moonshine, and passes it over to Brody. Then, he pours himself one.

Surprised, but not startled, Brody turns from the still and joins Rush at the bar. "Sure." He doesn’t drink anything.

Taking a long swallow, Rush sets his glass down, and steadies his gaze on Brody. “I saw the footage from the descendants.”

Almost imperceptibly, Brody inhales, and Rush catalogues the reaction. Then he waits to see if Brody will comment on that, but the only thing the man says is, “Okay…”

How like Brody to play it close to the vest. Rush smiles. This is why he trusts Brody more than anyone on the ship. Even over TJ; more than Chloe.

Rush had hoped that Brody would help him segue into something that felt natural, but it is obvious that the other man feels a little wrong-footed by Rush barging into the bar. So Rush thinks back as far as he can, trying to give himself an emotional starting point so he and Brody can end in the same place. “I felt…" Rush started, not really sure of what words to use, "betrayed… when you wanted to go back to Earth with Eli.”

Brody doesn’t say anything again, but his lips set into a hard line- almost as if he is trying to look neutral.

Rush sighs, and moves his glass from side to side across the smooth surface of the bar. “I had thought that you and I had a common understanding about this mission.”

“So this is about Destiny?” Brody asks, tension melting from his body, and Rush notes the change. _Interesting_.

“I thought it was.” Rush nods. “But after watching the footage from Novus...  I don’t think you really gave up on Destiny’s mission. I think, you were angry with me.”

Brody shrugs, and takes a sip of his liquor. “You’re not the easiest boss to work with.”

Rush shakes his head. “I don’t think that’s it.”

Brody’s shoulders go taught as he holds his glass stiffly at his lips. His eyes don’t leave Rush’s face.

“Don’t worry. I don’t think anyone else saw it.” He leaves the “it” vague to see how Brody reacts, but the man remains still. “They just thought you became grumpy and naive.”

“Two descriptions I should not have used in my OKCupid profile, it turns out,” Brody grumbles and Rush surmises the comment is a deflection.

Rush chuckles. “To me, you were angry with yourself.”

Brody shrugs. “I can’t guess what I thought, since that person isn’t me.”

“Yes, yes. But you still saw the person you could have been, and you must be having a lot of confusing thoughts about it.”

Leaning forward, Brody cups his glass with both hands, his eyes on the the dark liquid. “Okay... So... you’re checking up on me?”

Rush nods, and watches Brody’s cagey posture relax minutely. Little by little, Rush is proving his hypothesis, but he’s not quite yet there. There is something else there that Brody is scared to let him know, and every possible outcome hinges on that. “I suppose I am.”

“I’m fine. It can’t be any different than when you met yourself.”

“Seeing myself from twelve hours in the future is not the same as watching myself grow old, bitter, and unattached.”

Brody shifts from foot to foot, his eyes locked on this alcohol. The silence stretches the seconds out to seem longer than they are before he responds.  “I thought you might driving toward this…”

“Of course you did.” Rush inclines his head. “You know me better than anyone on this ship. Better than anyone alive, frankly.”

“Not really. I don’t know why you are driving at what you are. You already know that I won’t let it affect our working relationship, and that you need me, so you’re not going to tell me to back off when you already know I have been. You’re not going to make fun of me, because, again, you need me and you’re not that kind of guy.”

“Precisely. I need you.” Brody’s eyes widen as he looks up at Rush, and Rush watches his chest still as he stops breathing. Rush shuts his eyes, hoping he’s made the right decision. “And I think you need me too.”

“You uh… got this from footage of grumpy-me?”

“To be fair, you kind of imploded without me being there. It's hard not make inferences from that.”

“Imploded is a nice way to say that. You sure you don’t see it as me being so clingy I started a cult?”

Rush chuckles. “Well, as you said, that wasn’t you.”

“Okay… so where are you going with this?”

“I’m…” Rush pauses. He knows what word he needs to use, but it feels ugly, and insincere. It doesn’t describe his need for some connection with someone, and it just seems to needy and non-specific. “Lonely… and there is no one I feel comfortable with on this ship except for you.”

Brody regards him for a long moment, and takes a deep breath. “Are you asking me out?”

“I think so, yes.” Rush ducks his head, unable to look at Brody. “I really only had it worked out until this point. After this, there were too many possibilities to consider. There was no way to predict how you would react.”

“Well, I gotta tell you, I’m feeling pretty skeptical.”

Wasn’t that what he liked about Brody? He was skeptical. He didn’t just blurt things out Colonel Young, or trust that Telford was right like other people on the science team. He had doubts, and dealt with them reasonably. Calmly, even. “I feel like I should have expected that reaction more.”

“It’s just that… you’re not gay, and I kind of don’t really feel like being a warm body.”

Rush shrugs.

“What does that mean?” Brody is clearly alluding to Rushes shrug.

“It means that it's true that I don’t identify as gay, and that all my relationships have been with woman.”

“That’s pretty straight.”

“But I have also fantasized about men.”

“Less straight.”

“As for warm body, I cannot deny that might be the case.” Like with Amanda Perry, but that really could have gone somewhere. Had she not pushed it too far too fast, she would not be trapped in the computer, and he could have actually seen what they could have been. It was absurd to think love would come so quickly. It took him a year and a half for him to tell Gloria he loved her, and even more still to decide that she was all he ever wanted.

Brody nods as he looks him the eyes, waiting for Rush to finish the thought. This, right here, is the only reason Rush is considering this. He can trust Brody to have an honest conversation, and know that he won’t hold anything against Rush. Rush hopes that Brody knows the vice versa is true as well.

“Here’s what I’m proposing. We have the same goals, we work well with one another, and I suspect we both need more in our lives than just coworkers. Why don’t we see if this can go anywhere else?”

“How romantic,” Brody deadpans, taking a long swallow of the moonshine. Rush can see his lips quirking upwards into a small smile.

“I have a feeling you wouldn’t want me to be any other way.” Rush hooks his arm around to the back his neck, and squeezes the muscle, trying to relieve the constant ache he feels from probably looking at computer monitors for too long.

Brody inclines his head, and takes another drink. Rush joins him. “It’s funny.” Brody says. “Most people see you as duplicitous, lying bastard. But I’ve always thought you were kind of an open book. Honest as they come. I mean, how long have you been mulling this thought over? Not for very long, I’ll bet.”

“Consciously? The better part of a few hours.”

“Which is why you caught me off guard because I haven’t seen you all day. The thing I like about you best is that I know where I stand with you. I mean, the one time I didn’t, an alternate me ended up dying on planet with a stupid name, pining for something that never was until he died.”

Rush narrows his eyes. “That’s not an answer.”

“Yeah, I’m qualifying it. My point is, we can do this, but you have to make sure I know where we stand. If you want out, you tell me when you do. You want more, we discuss it.”

Rush smirks.“Sounds terribly romantic.”

“For me, this is as close as I’ve been to a four-star chick flick.”

Rush leans forward, and pitches his voice low as he looks up at Brody. “So where do we stand, Mr. Brody?”

“You tell me.”

A smile still on his lips, betraying the confusion he is still feeling about what he is doing, Rush leans in toward Brody, his lips almost touching his. “You will have to meet me halfway sometimes,” murmurs Rush, and Brody does.

The kiss is chaste, and unusual, but nice. Brody lips are little chapped, and Rush feels his stubble rubbing against the other man’s. It is nothing like Gloria. Or Amanda. And Rush wants to revel in how much more sensible this is. He cups Brody’s cheek as he leans in for another kiss, this time more probing. The taste of alcohol is too strong for him to know what Brody must taste like, and he thinks that next time they’ll do this without the moonshine.

 _Next time. That’s promising_ , Rush thinks as smiles into the kiss.

Brody is stiff at first, but gives in as the kiss deepens. It’s short, but satisfying as Rush pulls back. He’s almost pleased to see the usually unflappable Adam Brody look like he doesn’t know which way is up.

“Does that answer your question?” Rush asks, grinning as he sits back and has another drink.

Dumbstruck, Brody nods.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I have a lot more fics in this 'verse planned, and some half-written, so please let me know if Brush is a thing you are a least intrigued by :) I'm glad to keep trying to convince people it should be a thing.
> 
> Again, this is un-betaed, so please let me know if there are typos that bother you.


End file.
